By: Justice Smith
Men’s mental health awareness month is a timely reminder that oftentimes, men struggle in silence. Men continue to die by suicide at higher rates than women in most countries. Men are often expected to be “strong” and hide their emotions, which can make it difficult for them to ask for the help they need. Depression is a serious matter if not treated or handled well.
A lot of teenagers cope with depression and other mental health difficulties in different ways. Some healthy coping mechanisms include exercise, spending time with friends and family, and participating in activities they enjoy. Unhealthier coping mechanisms can look like oversleeping, alcohol and drug use, or withdrawing from responsibilities. These mechanisms often mask deeper pain and make it difficult for those suffering to get better.
For me, the importance of speaking up about mental health became clear through the tragic loss of someone I cared about. Damon Quigley was a close friend of mine back in 2018 that I met at a Centralia vs. Frankfort football game. We enjoyed spending time together at football games, eating pickles, and playing Roblox for hours. He always put other people before himself and cared deeply about other people’s feelings and emotions. He was a very funny, smart kid who loved to play the drums. He liked cheering for KU, baseball, going to the lake, and most of all, spending time with his friends and family.
Damon always seemed to wear a smile on his face, which is why it was such a shock when he died by suicide on January 19, 2021 at 13 years old. His sudden passing shocked everyone who knew him. Friends and family gather year-round to celebrate his life and remind others of the importance of speaking up about mental health.
This tragic story serves as a reminder that you don’t have to suffer in silence. When you fall in a hole you can’t get out of, ask for a lift, because you’re not alone. Every year 36,000 men die by suicide. Kindness, awareness, and compassion can help change that.
Damon’s mom, Brenda said, “It’s okay not to be okay, but it’s never okay to suffer in silence.” If you or someone you know is struggling, tell a trusted adult and ask for help. Each person has a story, which is what the word “sonder” tells us: realizing that every individual you encounter has a life as full and complex as your own. There are ways to end the stigma.
